This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
