I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
