help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
