don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
