I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
