The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
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The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
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He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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