So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
