She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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