we have officially lost it.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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