peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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