Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
