Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
