There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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