Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
