we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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