I showed him my bush... on skype.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
