hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
