Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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