so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
