I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
