Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
nutella sex= disaster
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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