Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
