When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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