he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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