He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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