we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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