So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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