All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
