? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
