Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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