Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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