I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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