around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
They took my balls.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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