he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
