I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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