You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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