I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
