i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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