Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize