he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
