hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just gargled with NyQuil
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
