This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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