By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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