Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
