i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
