You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
