I hate all girls vehemently.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
