My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
