do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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