you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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