i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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