the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
