Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
