I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
