He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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